Birthing Classes 1 & 2

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In college, I took a Human Sexuality course and our professor showed us three videos of births to give us examples of what you can have, what is not cool, etc.

One was an agonizing home (NO THANK YOU!) birth where the woman was just getting off on herself being hardcore and taking the pain--which I honestly don't care about if that's your ticket, but she was incredibly too patient with all things and laid there and writhed and screamed instead of calling an ambulance. To the detriment of her husband who was SO upset about her pain, but understood this was what she wanted, that he didn't know what to do so he just sat there and wiped her face and wiped her face and wiped her face and wiped her face and wiped her face and wiped her face and she never complained once. Another point to prove her insanity.

The second was a hospital birth and the woman was lying FLAT ON HER BACK on a TABLE. Not a birthing table but a table. Like a flat, collapsable table. She was having an awful time because she had no leverage and no gravity on her side. All the doctors were milling about with their overly important tasks and the husband, again, was beside himself with grief but didn't know what to do about it.

The third was a lovely birth, if 70s videos, where everything was fine and she got an epidural and her husband was kind and calm and the doctors were pleasant and knowledgeable and there was pain and sticky goo but there was also a baby at the end and his mommie kissed his sticky, gooey face and all was well.

#3 please.

I have a friend who delivered at home for her second baby and she used some combination of witch hazel and something else in a bulb syringe which she douched with from close to her due date until her water broke (I think that far) and it softened her cervix allowing for a much more bearable process. She's pretty granola so Idk if that's medically sound but it worked and she got on her shins and leaned forward and hummed her way through the contractions and birth. She said it was not very painful (as these things go) at all. Her husband, who is not quite as granola and def not as airy, attested to the same thing so she may have been onto something.

Totally laughing out loud about this!

Oh my gosh - "For the first time, the birthing class is causing me to think of time after pregnancy. It's going to be really weird." YES it is!!!! I can now say that I had no earthly idea of what to expect. And everyone kept saying things to me like - the birth will take care of itself, one way or another that baby is coming out. What you need to worry about it the next 18 years. I poo-pooed this. But now 8 weeks in, I just feel so stupid - I was so worried about the birth. That was a blip on the screen! And yeah, I firmly believe epidural, epidural, epidural! I was curious to see how far I could go, but I was def not out to prove anything! I got sort of general disapproval vibes from a few people - particularly from a few older, earthy type mothers. Wait - need to run, baby's crying...write more later...
You're right. People get really righteous about their birth stuff. Some of the people I've talked to say (unsolicited) "get the epidural!" others are hard core granola types and insist that unmedicated is best. But I've been hearing bad stories from a lot of them - how they started at the birth center, then 58 - 72hrs later, the midwives sent them to the hospital for epidurals and pitocin. I don't know what I'll want or how I'll want it, but I am deliberately keeping it that way because it seems like all these people who are so sure of how it will go are setting themselves up for disappointment. Also, I've read that if you want one thing and then get something else, it really heightens your risk of post-partum depression, and who wants to start out motherhood that way? I think it's wise that you are open to the epidural and also that you say that you plan to get the epidural "at this point" because if, in the end, you can't get the epidural in time or you wind up using a different kind of pain management, you won't feel like your plans have been utterly derailed. Planning for birth is complicated. It seems like there's a fine line between feeling like you were well cared for and things were not forced on you and feeling like you told your body what to do and it had plans of its own. Good luck dealing with the zealots wherever you find them. (By the way, I tell everyone that I'm sure that they are right and then totally ignore them).

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JeniQ

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JeniQ
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